


The Works of Roderich Edelstein

by Believe_in_the_Journey (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alright I was lying there is much angst, Austria is such a dork, But it will be drowned out later with fluff, Human AU, M/M, athletic Switzerland, lonely switzerland, mildly paranoid Switzerland, oblivious Austria, overworked Austria, platonic Hungary/Austria, teensy bit angsty, they all are really, will be lots of fluff just pull through guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-04-01 15:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4025944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Believe_in_the_Journey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roderich has a really busy schedule, but he is determined to make his parents proud. In order to get a scholarship at the college he has been planning to attend, he has to make it work. However, the stress may prove too strenuous on not only him, but also his relationships. (There will be lots and lots of SwissAus, slightly slow build though)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By the way, the teachers and a lot of the other students are going to have literally nothing to do with Hetalia and are totally made up unless otherwise stated. (Meaning they have a certain country's human name) so just letting you know.... This is because I am a lazy person and I don't really know a lot of the countries well enough to classify which part they could play in this. I am sorry if that is annoying, but I am not going to change it.

At five in the morning, Roderich Edelstein was already up and getting ready for school. His satchel was packed, a shower was taken, his clothes changed, his homework checked twice, and breakfast was made. He gulped down a glass of milk, waved goodbye to his parents, and began the drive to school. His shoes echoed in the empty hallway on his way to the library to check out another book about music composers. The library aide, a guy who's name slipped Roderich's mind, smiled at him and checked the book out to him. The Austrian sat down at an empty table, his satchel between his feet, and started reading his new book. 

"Hey, Roderich!" Elizaveta said with a giant smile, sitting down at his table. She was his best friend, but he really wanted to read at that moment, so he chose to ignore her. 

The girl sulked, aiming a kick at his leg and hitting him in the shin. Roderich made a sound of pain, bending down to rub the spot. "Hey! These are expensive and my parents will murder me if you tear them." Eliza rolled her eyes at that and drummed her fingers on the table. 

"Don't wear them at school then, pretty boy." Eliza scoffed. 

The bell rang, saving Roderich from a response as he stood to go to his first class, Study Hall. Everyone had study hall first. His study hall teacher was a complete basket case. He meandered through the classroom pointlessly and never said a word to the other kids. After four years, Roderich had still never heard him speak. Basically, this meant the students treated him like a ghost and acted like utter Neanderthals. Roderich hated everyone of the morons in his Study Hall class because he could never study. They were so needlessly loud that it was impossible for Roderich to not develop a headache. 

Roderich was grateful for the bell, even if his escape from hell was straight to prison, or, as everyone else referred to it as, Physical Education. He changed into his uniform, which he hated. It was not attractive on anyone and they expected the students to pay fifty dollars for the bright red t-shirt and another fifty for the baggy white basketball shorts that fell just below his knees. As he sat on the disgusting floor of the school gymnasium, Roderich watched Vosh Zwingili pass. The blonde Swiss boy was the sole reason Roderich was passing the class with a decent C. And the grade was the reason his parents were so lit up about Roderich's school performance. If Roderich did not raise the C to a high A, his parents were convinced he would not receive the scholarship to the music college he so desperately wanted to attend. 

The teacher, a woman with greasy blonde strings of what barely passed for hair and an overabundance of spray-on tans, demanded the class begin their twenty-minute jog around the track outside immediately. Roderich desolately followed the rest of the class outside to do just that. He started jogging as close to the inside of the track as he could manage, knowing it was a shorter distance. Looking ahead, he was not surprised to notice the blonde far ahead of him, already finishing the turn coming up. Vosh could be a jock if he wanted to, but the other kids would never allow it. He was too isolated, more of a "I work by myself and don't need anyone else's help" kind of guy. It also didn't help that all the jocks bullied him, which was likely why the Swiss did not want to become one of them. 

Roderich was out of breath by the time his second lap rolled around and he was very tempted to walk. He despised sweat and beads of it were forming on the back of his neck. As he started to slow down, however, Vosh was instantly at his side. "Come on, Edelstein, if this were a concert practice you would not stop until it was perfect. Show the same dedication here." the boy demanded, before regaining his original pace. 

Roderich sighed, but listened to the advice. The teacher hated him quite a lot and if he stopped, he was sure to be deducted points for the day. By the end of the twenty minutes, he was exhausted and chugging down the water in his water bottle. He managed to survive the next twenty minutes of intense dodge ball games without losing an appendage. (This was mostly due to Vosh screaming at him to watch out for the balls and stop daydreaming about note changes.) Changing back into his regular clothes with a sigh of relief, Roderich dragged himself to AP Calculus. 

* * * 

After a long day of classes, Roderich drove back home and sat down at the grand piano and began practicing a new, and rather difficult piece for his upcoming concert. He had a solo in an outside orchestra and was really excited about it. However, his father stood over his shoulder the whole time, monitoring everything with hawk-like precision. Roderich carefully performed the piece, with frequent reprimands from his father. If the song did not one hundred percent match the original, sounded taxing, or gave the feeling of listening to a recording, Roderich was admonished for his slip-ups. 

"Come on, son. You know better than to start so early. Give it a few more moments instead of rushing into it." he said sternly, grabbing Roderich's elbow. 

"No! You are not getting into it, Roderich! You are playing it like you would paint something. This is music, feel it." the man said, smacking his hands away from the keys angrily. 

At some point, Roderich felt that if he felt the music anymore than he already did, he would transform into a song. He could hear songs inside of him constantly, bursting to be freed. He felt emotions in terms of songs. Eliza, who had tried to explain this to, constantly teased him about being in a Beethoven's Fifth Symphony mood. He stopped telling people about that. When his mother returned, she required his help in the kitchen making dinner, so he was allowed to leave the music room. Yes, the music room. Whereas most families had offices in their homes, the Edelsteins had a large room dedicated to various instruments, including a piano, three violins, five cellos, and an actual gilded and very antique harp. 

After a meal of knodel and a simple dessert of linzer tarts, Roderich went to bed feeling even more exhausted than he had the night before. He stretched, worried about the multitude of popping sounds that resulted, and slid into the cool comfort of his sheets, hoping the next day would be less strenuous as the one that day had been.


	2. Chapter Two

"For Christ's sake, Edelstein. Kick the damn ball!" the P.E. teacher said in exasperation. 

The whole room, it seemed, was angry with Roderich. It was not his fault. The pitcher kept tossing the ball at him. He did not want to be in the room at all, so why did they expect him to kick things? The concept had never clicked into place in his brain. However, he did as the teacher asked and made it to first base successfully. He turned around to watch Vosh kick the ball on his first try and then proceed to drag Roderich to second base with him while the outfielders scrambled around to return the ball to the pitcher. Roderich was perfectly content to stay at that base until the end of the round or whatever it was called, but he doubted the blonde Swiss would let him. 

A trembling hand on Roderich's shoulder turned him around just before Vosh's body slumped against his chest. In his shock, he still managed to catch the boy and say, "I'm taking him to the nurse." 

Several startled faces stared back at him, a few girls covering their mouths in fright. Roderich quickly adjusted Vosh into a bridal-style hold before walking to the nurse's office as fast as he could. "Please be okay, please be okay." he murmured to the boy that was spasming somewhat in his arms. 

The nurse, a kind woman with a round face, paled when she saw the unconscious blonde in Roderich's arms and directed him to a few of the beds in the back of the room. However, when he set him down, the boy was trembling too hard to stay on the thin mattress. So the nurse helped him readjust Vosh on the floor with a pillow beneath his head. Around that time, Vosh's eyelids started fluttering and he began muttering nonsense. Finally, the boy came to and tried to sit up. Roderich pushed him back down. 

"What happened, kid?" the nurse asked from behind Roderich. 

Vosh thought about it for a minute, his eyes roaming the room as if trying to figure out where he was and exactly what had happened to him. 

Roderich finally spoke up after several seconds. "He fainted in class."

"I-I didn't eat breakfast th-this morning." Vosh informed them shakily. 

"Why?" Roderich demanded angrily.

"We, uh.... we... I just wasn't feeling well." Vosh said, green eyes staring up at the ceiling. Roderich knew he was lying. 

"Here, eat this when you feel okay to sit up." The nurse said, holding out a pack of crackers. 

"I'm fine, really." Vosh said, but sat up and took the Saltines anyway. 

Under Roderich and the nurse's watchful eye, he nibbled away at the crackers one by one until they were gone. "Can I go back to class now? I feel fine, I swear."

The nurse scanned him and nodded. "Keep an eye on him, young man."

Roderich agreed and helped Vash back to class. "What really happened? Why would you not eat breakfast?" he insisted in the hallway.

"It's none of your business. Besides, I already told you. I just wasn't feeling well." 

"That was a lie, Vosh, and I know it was." Roderich said, grabbing his arm and ceasing his pseudo-friend's strides. 

"We were out of food, alright? Better me than Lily. Can we go back to class now?" Vosh said, his voice dripping with fury and exasperation.

Roderich could not think of anything to say to that and nodded, slightly shocked at the circumstances. He knew that Vosh's mother had been struggling after her husband died three years previously, but he was not aware the conditions were so ill for the small family of three. Throughout the rest of the class period, he made up a plan to help Vash in the best way he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A situation similar to this has happened to me before and let me tell you: It sucks. Do not purposely cut off eating in order to faint, it is the worst feeling I've ever experienced. I'm serious guys. Keep yourselves healthy, okay?


	3. Chapter Three

Roderich hesitantly knocked on the Zwingilis' door. A small face peeked out and smiled at him. "Roddy!" the little girl said happily, opening the door all the way and reaching up tiny arms to hug him. 

Roderich smiled down at her and stepped inside to allow her to hug his shin. "Hey, Lily. You've gotten bigger." 

Lily giggled and scrambled off to presumably get her little brother. Roderich looked around the small apartment while he waited. It had changed a lot since he had last been there. The white wallpaper was yellowed and peeling. Picture frames were broken and hung at an angle on the walls. The carpet was partially ripped in places and the whole place smelled like tequila and weed. Roderich really had not been paying attention. When his friend said that there was literally no food, he was not kidding. The fridge was empty except for a single stick of butter and a jug of spoiled milk. The freezer, however, was not empty but filled to the brim with bottles of tequila. 

"What are you doing here?" a cold voice asked behind him. 

Roderich turned around to face an angry Vosh. He gestured to the containers he brought with him that waited on the counter top. "My parents are out of town today and I had more than enough to eat and we never see each other anymore so I thought I could come bearing food...." the Swiss boy only seemed to grow more furious as he spoke so he dropped his hand and turned around to gather his things. "That is, if you want it. I can leave if-" 

A hand pulled the containers of food away from him. Lids popped open with a harsh sound and the meal was slid into the microwave to heat back up. "Thank you." Vosh said quietly, keeping his eyes trained on his little sister. 

Lily grinned up at the two much older boys. Only five years old herself, she delighted in seeing her brother happy. He always did so much to take care of her and she wished he did more to take care of himself. "Big bruder, will Mommy join us?" she asked with a curious expression.

Vosh sat down in front of her to reach her eye level. "I don't think so, she's still sleeping." 

Roderich connected the dots to the mess around him with the absence of the mother, whom he had previously assumed to be at work. "Where do you work, Vosh?" 

"I don't anymore." Vosh said quietly, standing back up. "Go play until dinner's ready, Lily." 

The little girl ran off to play with her stuffed animals and Vosh's eyes turned dark again. "I don't need charity, Edelstein. Don't do this again. I will get a new job soon. I only accepted because-" 

Roderich cut him off with a wave of his hand. He knew that if it were not for Lily and her needs, Vosh would never have let him bring food. It did not matter. He would have given it to them anyway. "It is not charity. If anything, you are doing me a favor. I despise being left at home alone. I just thought I might be accepted with slightly more open arms if I brought food instead of just myself." 

His words were lies and they both knew it. Both of them just chose to ignore it. "Well, sit down. That should be done heating in a moment." Vosh said as he began taking out paper plates from the cabinets and plastic cups. 

Roderich did as he was asked and waited patiently for the meal. He was disappointed to see how little of it Vash ate. He had made himself specifically for him. It occurred to him that Vosh's diet was severely limited and that scared him. He could not bring dinner every night, his schedule would never allow for that to happen. He had to figure out a new system.


	4. Chapter Four

~two days later~

"Gay." a boy said smugly as he shoved Roderich in the hallway.

Roderich ignored the snide comment and continued his way to his fifth class of the day. Kids were rude there too.

"You and your boyfriend having a fight, fag?" one of them hissed to him from across the room as Roderich walked in. The whole class burst into laughter. A paper airplane took flight and stuck in his hair. Some moron had stuck a wad of chewed gum to the bottom of it. 

Roderich was excused to the bathroom to clean the gum out of his hair and the paper airplane constructor was sent to the office. The airplane turned out to actually be a note covered in insulting things. He knew it was his fault the kids were acting out. The whole thing had started when Vash fainted in Gym. He had ignored it for the most part, kids were nasty but if he did not get riled up, they would settle down. He pulled the piece of paper taped to his back off and threw it away without bothering to read whatever childish names they called him.

On his way back to class, he heard the sound of skin smacking skin and turned back around to investigate. Around the corner he saw a small blonde boy getting beaten up by a much bigger boy. Recognizing it as Vosh, Roderich did not hesitate to pull the boy off of his friend. The boy turned on him and spat blood in his face. Then a smirk lit up the bully's features. "Protecting your boyfriend? This is just too good." 

That was the last thing he remembered before the guy punched him in the face. 

* * *

"Roderich, I expected better of you." his mother said angrily. 

"When the principal called, certainly we expected to be told you were being given an award, not that you had been in a fight." Mr. Edelstein said, too furious to even glance at his son. 

"I am sorry, father." Roderich said quietly. 

"I do not want to hear it right now. I do not need excuses either. Your principal explained everything." Mr. Edelstein added acidly.

"We do not want you hanging around that horrible boy anymore. He is clearly a malignant influence on you and the last thing we need right now is something to hold you back from a scholarship to college. Besides, those atrocious rumors must be ended immediately." Mrs. Edelstein told him. 

"Mother, I do not thi-" Roderich began as politely as he could.

"We do not care what you think, Roderich Edelstein! You could have ruined everything we have worked for today. I believe you should be quiet and listen to what we tell you is best." Mr. Edelstein said, glaring at his son. 

"Yes, sir." Roderich acquiesced and climbed into the back seat of his father's expensive car. 

* * * 

*two weeks later*

He had missed dinner. He had to keep practicing though. If he did not get the piece right before the concert in two days he would not impress those that were coming from their individual colleges looking for ability they could turn into talent at their respective schools. He would not get a scholarship if it was not perfect. He and his parents had agreed an original would be the best bet. They liked to hear something new that was pleasing to the ears. Roderich could give them such a thing, if only he kept practicing. 

His stomach complained at the lack of sustenance it was offered but Roderich knew he could not cease his playing now. He was on the brink of finishing the piece with only one mistake that could be fixed with ease. However, his stomach's whine proved a miniscule, but damaging, distraction. He skipped an half a page of the song by accident. His father noticed and shoved his son's hands from the piano keys. "Start again." 

And so Roderich did, despite the homework he had yet to complete waiting insistently in his room. He restarted until he had played it through thrice with no mistakes. He was dismissed to begin his schoolwork while his father prepared with his mother. Stress filled his hollow stomach like a rock as he attempted the complex math problems. Horror clouded his thoughts as he muddled through his composition homework. He finally finished everything at exactly two a.m. and slid into bed. His dreams offered no respite from the stress of consciousness. They were filled with the anger he had received from Vash Zwingili when he switched Gym classes and the fight he had with Elizaveta three days ago. She was annoyed at how distracted he was and had decided that he cared more about his music than anyone else. She did not understand that music was all he had left. And even that was bordering on becoming a chore.


	5. Chapter Five

The concert was over. Roderich was backstage, stressing out as the people onstage began cleaning up their things. He had messed up halfway through. It was such a tiny flaw, but it would cost him a world of scholarships that he desperately needed. He greatly wished that Elizaveta was backstage with him to kick him and tell him that he was fantastic and to stop trying to squeeze compliments out of her. However, she had not come. He had checked the entire audience out of the corner of his eye while he was walking onstage. There was no friendly faces to greet him. He supposed he was not surprised. It was, after all, his stressed anger that burned that particular bridge. 

His father's voice pulled him out of his torrent of negative thoughts. "...fantastic performances. Yes, that one, however, obviously needed a better instructor."

The two men with him seemed to agree completely with whatever his father was going on about, if their bobbling heads were anything to go by. Roderich straightened his posture and immediately ceased to wring his hands. "Hello." he managed as politely as possible. 

The men nodded in his direction, the shorter one offering a sweaty hand to shake. Roderich did so, trying to not show his revulsion at the warm moisture on the other man's pasty palm. "You must be Mr. Roderich Edelstein, I'm Mr. Greenfield, and this is my colleague, Mr. Vargas. We are both professors from Vienna."

Roderich tried to keep the shock from crossing his face. They could only be discussing a very prestigious private school dedicated solely to the Arts, namely music, musical performances, dance, and drama. He had no idea what professors from Austria were doing at such a small musical event, but he suddenly had a desperate desire to get in. Going to Austria to become a better musician would be the best thing that ever happened to him.

"So, how did my son do?" Mr. Edelstein asking hesistantly.

"I am not quite sure if our professors have anything to teach the boy. He is simply brilliant. You said he wrote the piece himself?" Mr. Greenfield inquired.

Roderich nodded. "Yes, sir."

"We would love to have such talent at our school. You will have our vote, Mr. Edelstein." Mr. Greenfield said pleasantly, addressing Roderich. 

"Thank you, sir." Roderich said, stunned. 

When the men left, Roderich could not recall a time he had seen his father so proud of him. 

"Well done, son. Your mother will be very pleased. Austria, of all places. Just like your father, young man." Mr. Edelstein said, and though his expression was just as stern as ever, Roderich could see how proud he was in the way he stood, talked, and walked. He had finally succeeded after all that work. 

Roderich lost his father in the crowd of people exiting the building and slammed into a person in his search for his father. "Pardon me-" he cut off when he recognized the person's face. "Vosh?"

The Swiss boy looked embarrassed, like he had been praying Roderich would not notice he had shown up. "Hello." the boy said, looking down at his scuffed up shoes. 

Roderich tried to shake off his surprise. He had to apologize while he still had the chance. "How have you been?" Coward.

Vosh's face flashed with something Roderich thought might be anger. "Why do you care?" 

This was the chance. "I didn't want- Vosh, I want to- but they-" Roderich attempted feebly before he shut up all together before he said something stupid and made everything worse. Out of nowhere, he had this inexplicable urge to pull Vosh forward, up and close the space between their mouths. He tried to shake it off, because that was ridiculous. Vosh was just a friend. And he did not feel that way about him. Besides, there was million people in that auditorium and if, heaven forbid, his parents saw him, his life would be utter hell. But his body rejected common sense. His arms wrapped around Vosh's thin waist, pulling him forward and upwards. His leaned his head down and kissed him. Somehow, he knew he should not be doing that, but it did not matter in those few seconds before Vosh pushed him away.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" Vosh demanded angrily. "How can you go around giving food away like its nothing, ignoring me completely and even switching classes the next second, and now kissing me? For once could you just give me a straightforward answer? Do you like me or not?" 

Roderich was horrified. "How could you think I don't? My parents made me switch the class. I've always had strong feelings for you. I didn't realize it until just now, but I have. And you?"

Vosh rolled his eyes. "You are such an idiot." A sharp pain slid between his ribs and stabbed at his heart at the words. "You think I would have bothered to help you at all in Gym if I didn't?" Vosh pulled Roderich down and kissed him hard. Or at least tried to. His mouth actually met with Roderich's chin. Roderich chuckled and closed the gap properly and much more gently than Vosh had been attempting. It was sweet and shortlived, for the both of them recalled the fact that there were others there. 

"My parents are going to murder me." Roderich said fretfully.

"Have fun." Vosh said with a rare, wry smile before he exited the auditorium, leaving Roderich to find his father and mother.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time skipping to the end of the year, a few weeks before graduation

The unfortunate thing about having a kiss that was meant just for two in the middle of a crowded auditorium is that more than two were aware of it happening. Luckily, Roderich's parents remained blissfully oblivious. However, if Roderich had thought the bullies were bad when they just suspected a relationship between him and the smaller Swiss boy, he was in for a huge shock when it was confirmed.

He was shoved roughly in the hallways, dirt shoved in his face sometimes, mud smeared in his hair one time when he was leaving school (that had taken hours to wash out), and one kid even purchased a varieties of make-up and attacked him in the bathroom to cover his face and clothes in glitter, lipstick, and foundation. That he could have handled, he really could have. It all washed out easily enough. But seeing Vosh receive the exact same treatment, because of what Roderich did, that crushed him. That was the worst of it. All he wanted to do was protect the poor boy from the violence. It was even worse when he saw Vosh with Lily on the sidewalk and someone tossed a Styrofoam cup of soda on them. 

That poor little girl was shivering and blinking in confusion. And Vosh was so obviously fighting tears and shaking so much with anger. Roderich crossed the street immediately and offered to let them come to his house to wash off. Vosh refused, but admitted that he was grateful for the offer, and insisted he just wanted to get his little sister home. Roderich left, feeling miserable and helpless. There had to be something, anything he could do. But he was just a composer. He could not beat up bullies or be scary enough for others to leave alone the ones he cared about. His parents could. His parents were a frightful force to be reckoned with. But Roderich just was not. He had never wanted to be like his mother or father until he saw those two, two he genuinely cared about and wanted to be happy, dripping and shaking because no one would accept their individuality. 

His music playing became so passionate and full of emotion, he swore he saw his mother close to tears over it. His father, impossible to please despite the fact he had already been promised a scholarship for a brilliant college, reprimanded him for it, saying he was drawing attention away from the actual piece. However, Roderich did not mind. He appreciated the comments. He wanted to be the best he could be. He really did. He just wished that he could have the knowledge his parents would love him for who he was instead of the boy they believed he should be. He knew his mother and father would never accept him being gay. They were a very old-fashioned couple. Mr. Edelstein viewed women responsible for the kitchen, house cleaning, and children. He often complained at dinner about how people should be in the place meant for them and follow the guidelines that had been set by their ancestors hundreds of years before. Roderich often wondered if his father would even permit him to be educated had he been born a female. The Edelstein parents certainly would not have been all too agreeable with their son having a boyfriend.

It was the argument that he got into with his father early Saturday morning that kick-started everything, in Roderich's mind. They had been eating breakfast and Mr. Edelstein made a comment about two ladies he had seen holding hands as they walked across the street. In the Edelstein's neighborhood, no less. "It's not right. They need parents to teach them proper etiquette. Really, it's high time someone do something about these thoughts in the youth's heads. Those poor girls probably don't have a good father in their lives."

Roderich was gripping his mug of coffee so tightly, he feared the handle would break off. He ate silently, hoping his father would move on to a new topic.

"At least our son has his head straight. It is a good thing we protected him for that horrible boy and his influence." Mr. Edelstein continued pointedly.

Roderich choked on his coffee and his blood was boiling with fury. "What?"

"What was that child's name? Zwing or something like that. I've seen his mother. A drunk. No wonder that boy is so confused. He is seriously lacking a strong parental guidance." Mr. Edelstein said. "You have been keeping away from him, Roderich?"

"No." Roderich said quietly. He had not meant to say anything at all. He had meant to keep eating and write out his anger through his compositions later. "No I am not. He goes to my school, he is in the hallways. And he is a good person. He is getting bullied and he does not deserve it. He has done absolutely nothing at all. He is the reason his little sister is still alive. His mother too, for that matter. And if likes boys, so what?" 

At least, that's what Roderich said in his head after his defiant 'no.' What he really said was, "Vosh Zwingili is a good person."

"I do not know what those peers of yours at your school have been drilling into your head, Roderich, but those people are strange. They will warp everything you believe until you become like them." 

"And how are you any different?" Roderich demanded without thinking it through. "How is anyone any different? There are people who are forceful with their are views and there are those that are passive aggressive, but how is any of it any different? Everyone believes what they want and they want everyone else to believe it too."

Mr. and Mrs. Edelstein were staring him down, forks hanging forgotten in the space between their mouths and plates. Mrs. Edelstein came to her senses first. "Son, those people-"

Are people too. Are human. They are not a faulty reproduction of faulty parenting. They have no right to be singled out and discriminated against. Roderich wanted to say all of those things, but he kept quiet and completely ignored what his mother was saying. The second she was finished, he stood up and walked out of the house. He went for a long walk in their neighborhood before he got himself lost. His mind whirled and it did not matter at all that he had no idea how far away he was from his house. Anger steamed from him until he was just exhausted. 

He managed to find his way home, sighing with relief when his parents had already left for work. 

It was that argument. That very thing that kick-started the crumpling of Roderich Edelstein's efforts. That five minute moment of fury that Roderich was convinced derailed his life entirely. And not just his.


	7. Chapter Seven

Roderich threw the door open with as much strength as he had, which was very small, and marched through the waiting room. He hardly noticed the others in there. "What room are Mr. and Mrs. Edelstein in?" he demanded of the receptionist. 

She was a little brunette woman with glasses. She smiled at him. "Let me check. How do you spell Edelstein?"

Roderich spelled it for her. "I'm their son."

"They are both in surgery right now. I will call a nurse to come explain what is going on." The kind woman said.

"Thank you."

Roderich sat down in one of the cushioned chairs and stared off into the distance as he waited. It took him much too long to notice the ashen-faced Vosh. The poor boy was shaking hard and looked very much in shock.

Before he could speak to him and ask what was wrong, the nurse called him. He approached her, hating how solemn she looked. "You parents were in a car accident. It seems as though the driver of the other car was drunk. When the other car hit the passenger side of your parent's car, it left your mother in a pretty bad state. The doctors are not hopeful."

"And my father?" Roderich asked, a cold, shocked numbness icing over his blood.

"A third car could not stop before it hit the front of the car. Both of your parents are in a pretty bad state." The nurse said, not trying in the slightest to make him feel any better.

"What about the other passengers?" Roderich found himself requesting.

"The drunk driver was not wearing a seatbelt. They were ejected through the windshield and onto the road. She was ran over by the third car. She was dead when the ambulance arrived. There was a child in the backseat of the car, mild whiplash and in shock, but fine. The entire family in the third car was killed. None of them were wearing seatbelts." The nurse said.

Roderich felt dizzy. A whole family and another woman killed. His parents were in surgery. He collapsed back in his chair without another word to the nurse. 

When he had gotten the call that his parents were in the hospital, he had expected a mild causality. A few broken bones at most. 

Vosh was staring at him, looking sick. The drunk driver.... Oh that poor boy. Roderich stood up and went over to him. "Vosh?"

Vosh looked up at him with glassy, uncomprehending eyes. 

"The nurse said your sister was fine." Roderich said gently, without anything else to say.

"Whiplash. And it was all her fault. When she gets out, I'll kill her." Vosh said angrily.

"Vosh, they said that your mother... she was dead before the ambulance-" Roderich said so quietly, so hesitant.

Vosh glared at him, shutting him up.

Roderich sat down next to him. "When are you allowed to see Lily?" 

"As soon as they're done examining her for any internal injuries." 

They stayed silent until Vosh was called to see his sister. Roderich stayed in that chair for hours. He did not leave to eat dinner or to sleep. Vosh never came back and he suspicioned that they were keeping Lily overnight just to be certain before letting her go home. Vosh would never leave her side. Roderich sat and stared. He thought and never once did he cry. He did not throw up either. He only sat and thought with nausea tumbling around inside him, terror spiking his nerves. 

By the time the nurse called him, he was completely on auto-pilot. He had no reaction at all when she told him that his mother and father had died during their surgeries. Internal bleeding is what took his mother. Brain damage shut down his father. His father was declared brain dead. The nurse asked if Roderich wanted to keep him on the machines. Roderich told her no. Let him go. 

Roderich drove home. He made himself dinner and ate all by himself in his big, empty house. He graduated from high school without his parents and packed everything for college. He sold the Edelstein house. He had no intentions of returning. 

He invested everything he had into college. And every single day he checked the mail for something, anything from Vosh. Eliza wrote him. She and he had reconciled when his parents had died. She just ran up to him and hugged him. She did not say a single word and neither did he. On some unspoken agreement, they restored the friendship. That was how it worked between the two of them.

Vosh never wrote him. Not once in the six years he stayed in Austria. Even though he was confident the Swiss had his address, he received nothing but radio silence. 

Eliza asked him to move back to America. She missed him. They could share an apartment with some of her college friends. Roderich agreed. He was not quite sure why. Her college friends were nice enough, though some very obnoxious and hard to live with. Gilbert Beilschmidt in particular. The albino was incredibly loud and vain, and the worst part was him insistently drinking straight out of the milk jug. His little brother, Ludwig, was much easier to get along with, very quiet. His boyfriend, however, was high-maintenance. Feliciano Vargas always ate up all of their pasta noodles and was too cheery for Roderich's taste. 

When Roderich finally worked up the nerve to ask about Vosh Zwingili, Eliza only told him the address.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the end, though this chapter does seem kinda final. There will be more, I swear. I apologize for how much I crammed into this one little chapter but.... oh well.


	8. Chapter Eight

There was a vague sense of déjà vu that came with walking to Vosh's home and knocking on his door. Roderich could not quite place it but there was a sense of familiarity as if he had done this before, exactly like this before, some time long ago. He shifted the weight of the Tupperware dish to his other side and knocked on the door again. The door opened and an even stronger sense of déjà vu struck him when a young girl opened the door. Lily tilted her head, clearly recognizing him but unable to figure out why. 

"Who are you?" She asked innocently, as she had been so young when she used to know Roderich it was not surprising that seven years had taken away her memories of him.

"I'm a friend... I haven't seen you since... you must be... what? Eleven years old now?" Roderich asked.

"That's right." Lily nodded. 

"I knew you're brother, we were friends in high school... sort of. I'm Roderich." Roderich explained.

Lily's eyes went wide. "You're-" 

"Yes? Could you go get your brother, please?" Roderich asked, bending down so he was eye level with her.

Lily nodded, holding out her hands to take the food, and once given it, ran inside the house. Roderich followed her, closing the door behind him, and waited awkwardly in the entrance way. This was a much better place than the filthy apartment Vosh and his family used to live in seven years ago. It was a duplex, which meant that beneath this floor, some other humans were living there, completely ignoring the above level's existence. The walls were painted red and the living room was clean, if mostly barren except for a small TV and a white couch. There was an entry for the kitchen leading off from the living room so Roderich could see the clean wood floor and a part of a round table. On the other end of the house was a hallway presumably leading to bedrooms. Vosh came from that end of the house, looking incredibly confused. 

The man froze when he saw Roderich. He just stared at him for so long, Roderich thought maybe he had been turned into a statue or something. Lily took the food to the kitchen, completely ignoring her older brother's behavior. Vosh did not look much different. He had grown a few inches, but was still shorter than Roderich. His blond hair was much neater and shone more, but had a similar cut to how Roderich remembered it. The only major difference, really, was Vosh's eyes. They were bright and had a sparkle that not even the shock of seeing someone from so long ago could take away. Roderich felt that he could honestly stare at those green eyes forever and they would never lose their charm. 

"What are you doing here?" Vosh asked finally.

"I brought you dinner." Roderich said quietly. "I hope you don't mind."

It was then that he remembered why the actions felt like something he had done before. He remembered bringing Vosh dinner seven years ago, maybe to the day, after finding out that Ms. Zwingili was not providing substantial meals for her children. Vosh looked so off-balance, Roderich wondered if he might actually faint or something.

But he did not. Vosh shook his head. "Yes, I can see that... but why?" 

That was a very good question. Vosh had never bothered to write Roderich back after he had moved away. And it had been seven years, so why show up now? Roderich searched for an answer, but was spared when Vosh continued.

"You never wrote and you just left without any warning at all and you just show up after seven years. So why?" Vosh demanded, his voice shaking with anger and possibly hurt.

"I did write you! I wrote you every single day for two months before I gave up. I just... I hadn't heard from you in seven years and we used to be friends, so I thought maybe something horrible happened. I asked Eliza about you. All she gave me was your address, so here I am." Roderich said, his voice not changing at all, even though inside his emotions were swirling around like a tornado had been cast into him and swept up every feeling he had.

"We lost our house after graduation. I couldn't get a job and couldn't pay for rent. I had to fight and work so hard so no one would take Lily away from me. I found work and managed to afford this place. And the whole time you..." Vosh seemed unable or unwilling to say the rest and he just turned away.

And Roderich went to Austria. He had lost his family, just like Vosh, and he ran away to a different country, stayed away for six years with plenty of funds, never needing to worry about financial things. He left Vosh when he most needed a friend. And he came back when Vosh was totally fine, had recovered completely, wanting to pick everything back up. Roderich realized exactly what he had done wrong. He had the wrong address which is why Vosh never got his letters, and he had, in Vosh's eyes, stopped being a friend. There was not much to say to make up for that. A simple sorry would sound fake and insincere. If he wanted to repair what he had done, he would have to try much harder than bringing a meal. 

"I see." That was all Roderich could make himself say. "I hope you enjoy the food. Or throw it out, whichever you prefer." Roderich left before Vosh could say anything else. 

The entire way back to his apartment, he mulled and pondered over what to do. He had to do something. The only problem was, nothing seemed big enough. Sincere enough. Things were not like with Eliza when it came to Vosh. Roderich understood that. When he got back, he locked himself in his room, playing the piano and trying to sort out everything in his head. He kept playing and playing, barely hearing the knocks on the door, or Eliza picking the lock to bring him meals, which he ignored. He stayed at the piano, melodies and desperation mixing together to create a haunting, never-ending, song.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From here on everything will be in Vosh's point of view.  
> *thumbs up*

"Open this door! Vosh I swear-" a voice echoed through the house very early in the morning, waking him up. He groggily stumbled to the front door, and opened it. 

Elizaveta Héderváry stood on his doorstep, looking furious. "He comes back without a word to anyone and won't leave that room. What did you do to him?" 

"What?" Vosh asked, confused and too tired to be able to think hard enough to make sense of what she was saying.

"Roderich! What did you do?" Eliza asked, and Vosh was convinced for a minute she might actually snap his neck.

"Nothing. He left here, I don't know... I haven't seen the man in seven years, I have no idea what he's thinking." Vosh said, crossing his arms. 

"Look, you need to come with me right now. Bring your little sister if you have to, but you are coming with me and talking to him until you two work out whatever it is." Eliza said, and the way she was glaring, Vosh had a feeling it might be best to just do what she asked. 

"Give me five minutes to get ready." he insisted, before going to wake up Lily and change. 

Eliza did give him five minutes, which was just barely enough for him to finish brushing his teeth before she all but dragged him and Lily out of his house. Lily sat in the front seat with Eliza and the two talked pleasantly about whatever it was eleven year old girls talk about with Hungarian women. Vosh just tried to figure out how to deal with having to see Roderich again.

When Roderich Edelstein had showed up a week prior, Vosh had no idea how to handle the sudden wave of emotions that had engulfed him at the mere sight of the man. He was even more pompously dressed than Vosh had remembered, and it made him just as weak in the knees. But Vosh was not about to let Roderich in after being abandoned all those years ago. Roderich was not the only one to lose a parent. Vosh had lost his mother. And even though the woman had become a drunken shell of who she used to be, she was still the mother that had raised him before his father died. Vosh missed her when she died. And he had almost lost his little sister to social services because he was homeless and could not provide for her at all. But then his cousins, Ludwig and Gilbert Beilschmidt, allowed him to stay at their apartment with Eliza just long enough for him to save enough money for a place. It took him six years to finish college, pay it off, and get the duplex, but he did it, and not once did he lose his sister. 

But apparently, Roderich had taken his place at that apartment the year he left. And he had come looking straight for Vosh. Really, Roderich honestly had not done anything wrong. It was not Roderich's fault that he had gotten a scholarship at a prestigious school in Austria and had taken the first plane out of the life he used to have. And apparently he had also wrote to him, but just had the wrong address. Yet, somehow, Vosh was still furious with him. 

And then the Austrian man had the gall to show up and remind Vosh just how head over heels he still was for Roderich. It was completely unfair. So, maybe, just maybe, he was sulking in the backseat of Eliza's car the entire way there. 

They got out and the music, angry, sad, gentle, and painful all at once, led Vosh straight to Roderich. The man was sitting at his piano, stopping every once in awhile, just long enough to scribble something on a paper, to take the smallest of sips, or to eat a little food. Vosh watched him for several moments, unable to shake himself from the stupor the song forced onto his limbs. Roderich looked like a mess. His hair was even more haywire than usual and looked very much like in had not been washed or combed since Vosh last saw him. His outfit, the precise outfit Vosh had seen him wearing a week previously, was wrinkled. 

"You know you're scaring her." Vosh said quietly. 

There was a horrible slam of the keys when Roderich jolted in surprise. "What are you doing here?" 

"Elizaveta's worried about you."

"She'll get over it." Roderich said, playing again. This time it was a melody that Vosh recognized, but could not place from his many memories.

"Well she won't let me leave until she does, so maybe you could just do what she wants?"

"So that's why you came." Roderich said, standing up abruptly. "Well, I suppose that makes sense."

"Thanks for dinner." Vosh said suddenly. He was not sure what made him say it, but he felt it was necessary. Roderich needed to understand something. Something that Vosh had said in those three words that meant something entirely different then what he had actually spoken aloud. 

Roderich tilted his head. "You're welcome."

"I know you aren't going to apologize." Vosh said, wanting to smack himself. Because what he was trying to say was that Roderich did not need to. 

"And how do you know that?" Roderich asked.

"Because I found those letters you sent." It was true, he had. He had gone to that apartment and found them. All eight of them, sitting inside the mailbox of his old apartment that never got rented back out. 

"I-" Roderich started, but then stopped, looking confused.

"Go shower. Lily and I are going to make breakfast." Vosh said before walking out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, this originally was a story set in this point in time and it was in Vosh's point of view  
> But I realized this would be better set earlier and from Roderich's POV (because that's so much easier for me to write in)  
> But I think these next chapters would be better told by Vosh so.... here we go :D


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. I got really upset cuz I had this chapter finished and it was perfect and my computer died before I could save it and so I stopped working on this for awhile. But I'm back again, with hopefully more regular updates!

Vosh found very minimal ingredients in the cupboards and fridge, but he knew how to make do. He warmed up a little bread, and spread butter, honey, and a small portion of cheese onto it. Lily put it on a plate and set up a pretty flower arrangement in a vase while Vosh poured a glass of milk. "Thank you, Lily." Vosh said as he picked up the tray. He carried it to Roderich's room. 

Roderich was still in the bathroom when he opened the door, so Vosh set the tray top of the grand piano and looked around. The room was in a bit of chaos. Vosh had kept the room extremely tidy while he was living there, but with the Austrian man's influence, it was a disaster. There were clothes on the floor and crumpled up sheets of paper. Broken pens scattered almost every surface, the bed was unmade and looked as though it was hardly slept in. Glasses cluttered the desk that was pushed against the wall near the piano, many still containing various liquids. Plates were stacked precariously on the nightstand. The only thing kept clear of any sort of mess was the the piano. It was obvious, even if one was not familiar with Roderich, that the piano was what he cared about most. 

Vosh started to clear the room, but before he managed to make any real progress, Roderich came out. He wore a fluffy white robe with a self-tie belt tied loosely around the waist. His hair was curlier than usual, messy from a quick towel dry. Vosh looked away quickly, hoping his face wasn't as red as he thought it might be. He busied himself with going back to the tray and rearranging in the flowers. He could hear Roderich moving around behind him and sincerely hoped he was putting on more decent clothes. 

"Thank you." Roderich said.

Vosh turned back around, regretting it instantly. Roderich's robe was slung over his arm, black slacks pulled on, and he was working on tugging on a corset. Vosh tried so hard not to admire the man's stomach. He tried to look at Roderich's eyes and not look down. "F-for what?" Vosh muttered.

Roderich hesitated before saying. "For the food." 

Vosh got the feeling that Roderich was thanking him for much more than that. "You're welcome."

He picked up the tray and passed it over to Roderich who had finally succeeded in getting the corset on. "So... What now?" Roderich asked.

Vosh paused, not sure what Roderich wanted him to say. "Are you... I mean... I don't know what you're expecting..."

"Just tell me something. Are you here for Eliza?"

"What? No. I mean... she dragged me down here. But... no." Vosh stumbled, confused

"Then why are you here, Vosh?" Roderich asked.

"I don't..." Vosh started.

"Are you here for yourself or Lily?" Roderich continued, cutting him off

"I don't know. I'm just here because..." Vosh stopped, trying to figure out exactly why he was there. However, it was hard to think when Roderich was so distracting in his stupid corset. "I'm here because it's where I need to be."

Roderich nodded like that made sense and sat down on his piano bench to start eating. When he passed by Vosh, the Swiss froze, for a minute thinking that Roderich was going to kiss him. He wanted to ask what Roderich expected. He wanted to know if he thought they were going to start back up where they left off, but Roderich had already avoided that question, and bringing it back up seemed too insistent, as though Vosh was expecting something. 

Vosh watched Roderich eat for a moment before turning and walking toward the door. Just before he was out of the room, he heard an extremely quiet mutter of "I missed you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *covers face in shame* This chapter was so awkward to write. I hate it so much. I'm so sorry. I promise to do my best to make the next chapter better!


End file.
